Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Still That Girl?

Hey everyone.
It's been longer than I had wanted it to be since I posted last, and that is because life happened.
I am more exhausted than I think I've ever been and more sick than I think I've ever been.
Everything hurts.
I currently have (though is this not a doctors diagnosis) croup, the flu, a yeast infection, and terrible constipation (though I am always constipated). I've had a headache everyday since moving and depression and anxiety have struck me.
And I'm reading The Scarlet Letter. Though hard to read, it is actually very good.
But that has nothing to do with anything but my possible altered speech.
My best friends and support group is in Minnesota and I am stuck here, being a bully because of my exhaustion, and feeling depressed therefore because of it.
I am officially off sugar, wheat, and dairy. I am told to drink straight up lemon juice every morning and with a meal I must swallow--like a pill--a garlic clove (cut to be a swallow-able size). It's supposed to get rid of the yeast infection.
Also, I am going to get blood drawn and tested to see why I am always sick.
On the bright side, I haven't had a headache yet today, thanks to my amazing chiropractor who told me I stand weird.
I wonder if its not too late to still be that girl I once was. The one who was always happy and healthy, the one that had faith-like-a-child. Is it still possible to go back to being her? Was that even who I was? My friend here likes to remind me of when we lived here before and--get this--how I was so mean.
That hurt.
So is there even any nice, good, happy, healthy, and faithful girl to go back to? The girl I thought I was never really existed, therefore, do I even have a chance to change? Do I have that in me?
Nevertheless, there is never a doubt in my mind that God is good. He is holding me and this frightful situation in His hands and, with that knowledge, I will fear no evil.
Besides, in Christ I can change, right?

Please note that this is not all cause and effect from moving to this state. It's been amazing and I know it will be well.
Also, this is only an update on me and why I haven't posted in a while. It is not to get sympathy from everyone. I need not that right now, but instead may you--my lovely readers--pray for me? And for my family, who seems to be living in frustration with...I'm not really sure what actually. My three-year-old brother could use prayer too, though this is a bit late to ask. He went to the hospital late on Saturday night because he was breathing weird. He has/had croup also.
Thank you all so much! And please be sure that I will be posting my normal stuff soon. ; )

Enjoy : )

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